My Last Night

One of the most equally dreaded and anticipated nights I have had in a long time is finally here, the last night I will be home before I move into my dorm. As I write this my entire family is in a room upstairs which I am not allowed to enter due to something involving my birthday. We have to leave our house around 7:30 in the morning, so celebrating this evening while we are all actually awake seemed appropriate. Tonight will be fun and full of tears I am sure, but I am in  no way ready for what tomorrow has in store for me. As I have said before, my roommate and I have known each other since birth, and our families have always been close, so with all of us shoved into a tiny dorm I cannot imagine the chaos that is sure to ensue when it is time for our parents and siblings to leave and for us to finish unpacking our boxes. For tonight I will enjoy the honorary birthday that I am having, but turning 18 and moving out on the same day is going to rock my world. Wish me luck!

Looming Responsibilities

Tomorrow is my last day at home before I move into my dorm and I on an emotional roller coaster, stuck upside down in the last loop. I have yet to pack my bags, despite ample free time, I just binge watched The Originals on Netflix, and I am completely out of things to do aside from sit and think about what comes next. I am now at the point in my life where everyone believes, or pretends to believe, that I will have a bright future and do many great things. Yet, in 4 years at least one third of those people won't remember who I am. Two thirds of the remaining people will most likely disapprove of a choice of mine along the line and expect that I be married and pregnant the day after graduation. Leftover is the small elite group of people who realize that success is measured in more ways than a degree and a family. I can't help but to worry that by the end of my next four years of education I will be viewed as a failure, a walking representation of all of my missed opportunities. It will be time to get a job and go with the flow of society, talk about unimportant things with women in my neighborhood whom I have nothing in common with and wonder where along the line I messed up.
With that being said I am happy to announce that I intend to follow no such path. If I can face the looming responsibility of adulthood, then maybe I can overcome the chains that follow shortly after.

About Me

My name is Allyssa, and I am a 17, soon to be 18, year old girl. I have spent the entirety of my life in the same town, with the same people, and the same day to day routine. All of that is about to change. I start college this weekend, on my birthday actually. Yeah, it's not far from home, and yeah, my roommate and I basically shared a crib growing up, but I will finally be in a school with more than 300 people. 

My favorite things to do are as follows:

Read

Write

Draw

Paint

Bake

Text

Binge watch Netflix

Sleep

So clearly I am your average teenage girl.

I love to write, but as you'll find out in reading this, I use commas way too often. And despite my love for reading I don't do it much anymore. 

I have a boyfriend, a best friend, parents, and a little sister.

I can't keep up a diary, but have always wanted to. 

I still have no idea what I am doing, but who does really?

So, there is a little more about me, what about you?